Divorce has never been good to anyone, everyone reacts differently to divorce. For instance, the most vulnerable person will undergo emotional stages that are similar to grieving the death of a loved one. Always be armed well with expectations of a separation process; more importantly, the bad experience that comes from the stages of divorce will not take a toll on you once they start.
To help you overcome the grieving stages of divorce I have highlighted how you can perfectly overcome the whole ordeal in this article.
My Take On Divorce;
Moving back and forth will happen for sure once you divorce, just like with grief of any sort, these are common stages of a divorce. Once divorced find the best ways to make the stages smooth to sail through.
Keep in your mind that at the end of the tunnel you will find some hope and healing. You should never give up on living.
Reasons Why People Enter The Grieving Process?
Why Do people grieve After A Divorce?
Do I need to grieve after I lose my marriage? There are three main reasons that lease many people to enter the grieving process once they are divorced.
1. Many people can neither let go nor believe that they are no longer in love
Loving your partner for some years or months means you are attached and secondly, you share a certain bond that is not easy to let go ever. That person becomes a part of your daily life. Losing them through a divorce is equivalent to losing a husband/wife through death.
2. You could count on your partner always
Your husband was somebody you relied on for years now, and you could count on them on almost everything. In your relationship, you both gave and received many things from each other, thus, once you divorce you lose the physical and emotional aspects of the relationship that existed between you two.
The divorce cuts short all that, as well as the sexual intimacy you had on top of the support you used to receive from them.
3. Divorce means giving up the lifestyle you used to enjoy with them
Lifestyle is bound to change once divorce happens, for instance, that home you used to share, the home, the plans you had together, and the dreams of the future are all gone. Whether the relationship was stable or not, all that doesn’t matter anymore, divorce calls for an end to all the lifestyle you had together or hoped for with them.
It’s time to adjust the lifestyle but it won’t be a walk in the park for you at all. Be ready to embrace hard times ahead.
6 Grieving Stages Of Divorce
1. Denial Stage
All is hard to believe and that it is actually happening to you. Your whole being refuses to accept the fact that the relationship is an already closed chapter and you struggle to find ways to solve the marital problems that caused all this.
A lot of your time is spent consoling yourself that if you do or say the right thing your partner will accept you back or come home. At this stage, you are convinced that divorce wasn’t supposed to be the ultimatum to your marital problems. Denial is a common and powerful coping tool that many people use to keep from facing the reality of their current circumstances.
2. Shock Stage
Panic, rage, and numbness feelings engulf you fully, more so you feel like you are losing it and going crazy. The stage swings you between despair and that the divorce s just a passing period and you hope that it will be all good. Coping with these feelings seems impossible. Moreover, fear becomes part of you which is a common thing for many, especially considering you will have to exist and live alone.
For some, the fear is on how they are going to survive after their divorce. secondly, they can’t shake off the feelings and questions that bombard their minds. But, the most important thing is to know that all this will pass soon. It is just some temporary stage.
3. Rollercoaster Stage
Depression is immense in this stage and becomes a danger to you, for instance, you may find yourself crying at the drop of a pin. Calming your feelings and thoughts is hard; on top of that, you change from being hopeful to placing the entire blame on yourself.
4. Bargaining Stage
Holding onto the hope that the relationship will be restored is real, in turn, there is a willingness to change everything and all about yourself to get your partner back.
Learn that, you can’t control the thoughts, desires, or actions of another human being. Avoid thinking that the left-behind spouse didn’t want the divorce will linger in this stage for long.
Accept the facts and distract yourself with stuff you love doing.
5. Letting Go Stage
At this stage, you realize that the marriage is over, and the divorce just did happen! There is nothing than you can actually do or say to change all that. Become more willing to forgive the faults of your ex-partner and be responsible as well for the part you played in the breakdown.
Gain that sense of liberation and hope for the best in the coming days.
6. Acceptance Stage
Obsessive thoughts you had are long gone, secondly, you no longer have that burning desire to heal your marriage. All that is left behind you and you start having a much more fulfilling life.
Create plans and follow through them always, more so open up to the idea of finding new interests to be involved in. Embrace growth in this stage where you discover that you have strengths as well as talents to build on and you will make it on your own.
Discovering that there is life after the pain occupies the negativity space.
For more tips on how to face divorce click here